No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
