We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
