Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
