Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize