i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize