You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
this hospital has no fireball
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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