I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
wow bdsm is so cute
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
