what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
