Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Last time i carry you out of a forest
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
