Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
we're so committed to being not committed
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
