No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
