Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
