Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
