Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
