this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
