he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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