i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
