normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
