I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
