Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
