Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize