I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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