Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
