Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize