that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
