well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize