I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
