what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
