I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize