You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
