If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm at about main and main street
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize