Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
