The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
