we have pet lesbian snakes
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
