i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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