Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize