you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
