i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
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