I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I am mentally ready for anal.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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