thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
