So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
