So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
