Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
