i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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