i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Randomize
