you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize