i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
