At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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