You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
