We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
