I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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