Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
