FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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