and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
