You made me cry and you don't even care
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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