I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
