Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
send nudes
from the living room?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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