my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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