meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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