He is an equal opportunity slut.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize