yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
