gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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