Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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