I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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