Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
