am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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