I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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