dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Randomize
