Ambien. No doubt about it.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I feel like a drive thru vagina
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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