READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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