I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
