Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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