fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
