Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
wanna go halves on a baby?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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