yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
