sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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