I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
