my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
